Chapter Six - How You Think Common Reactions The list below identifies some common reactions in the way you think. You may experience several of these when you return home, which could affect your functioning at work and in relationships. Check the ones you think you may experience or have already experienced. ___ Difficulty concentrating ___ Easily talked into doing things ___ Feeling vulnerable ___ Self-blame ___ Feeling confusion ___ Short attention span ___ Blaming others ___ Hypervigilance (always on the “look-out”) ___ Nightmares ___ Disorientation (not knowing where you are) ___ Difficulty in making decisions ___ Not remembering important things (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) ___ Forgetfulness (appointments, losing keys, etc.) ___ Decreased self-esteem ___ Intrusive thoughts and memories ___ Dream-like or “spacey” feelings ___ Thoughts of losing control ___ Thoughts of harming oneself or suicide ___ Wanting to disappear ___ Feeling guilty for surviving when others perished ___ “Stinkin’ Thinkin” (See Page 34 for Errors in Thinking) Self-Image Highly stressful experiences often lead to feelings of guilt and shame. Many people blame themselves for things they did or failed to do, especially if they or someone else were hurt or killed. Sometimes, other people foolishly may blame you for the event or outcome, further reinforcing your negative view of yourself. Keep in mind that in any situation, usually there are alternative choices that with hindsight may have been preferable but did not stand out as better options in the heat of the situation. For example, you may have been required to perform complex, dangerous tasks and make split-second decisions without adequate time to wind down from a prior mission. You can’t gain adequate sleep without winding down, and a good night’s sleep is critical to your ability to use your best judgment. This is especially true when you have to be QUICK to assess a dangerous situation, and likewise—QUICK to act. Another important aspect of trauma is its uncontrollability. No one wants to believe that he or she had no control over a disturbing situation, so we often convince ourselves afterwards that there was something we could have done to prevent the bad consequences. Without consciously realizing it, our minds may prefer to take on the shame and guilt of believing we could have done something instead of accepting the often more disturbing reality that we could not have done anything to change the outcome (See Page 25 - Increased Irritation). Check the areas you experienced, and add your own items involving your struggles with or changes in self-image. ___ Feeling negative about myself ___ Trouble feeling confident ___ Guilt and/or shame ___ Anger at self ___ Constant rehashing of an experience ___ Wondering “why me” or “why not me” 
Errors In Our Thinking Highly stressful events can affect how we think about ourselves as well as others in many ways. These errors in our thinking thus affect our relationships with others as well as with ourselves. All of these errors in our thinking can worsen after a traumatic experience or when (for other reasons) we’re feeling down on ourselves. Letting these thoughts go unchallenged can contribute to feeling depressed, anxious, guilty, or angry. The worse we feel about ourselves, the more distorted our thoughts will be; this leads to more anxiety, depression, guilt, and anger. First, it is necessary to recognize these distortions (errors) in our thoughts, then “rewrite” the distortions to be fair and realistic. David Burns, M.D., described the following 10 “cognitive distortions” (errors in thinking) in his book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (refer to Table 3-1. Definitions of Cognitive Distortions, Pages 42–43, in Dr. Burns’s book): Errors in Thinking 1. “All or Nothing Thinking” where you see things in black-and-white terms (e.g., all good or all bad, with no middle ground; if it’s not perfect, it’s worthless). 2. “Overgeneralization” where you view one disturbing event as representing all events (e.g., you mess up a single task and think, ‘I can’t do anything right!’). 3. “Mental Filter” where you focus on one negative detail and dwell on it to the exclusion of all else, including more positive realities. 4. “Disqualifying The Positive” when you reject positive experiences as insignificant, maintaining negative beliefs despite contradictory evidence. 5. “Jumping To Conclusions” where you interpret circumstances in a negative way without adequate evidence to support your conclusions. |
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A. “Mind Reading” — such as when you assume others are reacting negatively toward you, and you’re so convinced this is true that you don’t bother to seek objective evidence.
B. “The Fortune Teller Error” where you predict and presume a bad outcome. |
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6. “Magnification (catastrophizing) or Minimization” where you exaggerate the significance of something (your mistake or another’s success) or you diminish something’s significance (such as people you respect paying you a valid compliment and you think, ‘They’re just being nice’).
7. “Emotional Reasoning” where you decide that your emotion is a sign of objective reality (e.g., ‘I feel scared, so I must be in danger’) 8. “Should Statements” involving motivating yourself with guilt (‘I should do this or I shouldn’t do that’) or directing such statements at others, resulting in anger or frustration. (Albert Ellis, Ph.D., said, “Stop ‘shoulding’ all over yourself!”) 9. “Labeling & Mislabeling” Dr. Burns described this as “an extreme form of overgeneralization” where you give yourself a negative label (e.g., the overgeneralization could be, ‘I can’t do anything right’ and the labeling could be, ‘I’m a total failure’). Dr. Burns added, “Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.” 10. “Personalization” involves thinking that you are responsible for some negative event when actually you are not primarily responsible (e.g., a friend is in a bad mood having nothing to do with you, but you wonder, ‘What did I do?’—remember, IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!). Coping with Unwanted Memories If you have unwanted distressing memories, images, or thoughts, talk about them with someone you trust. Overwhelming reminders of trauma often lessen over time. Remind yourself that what you are experiencing are just memories—nothing more. Remember that it is very normal to have vivid memories of traumatic events. If you find it difficult to concentrate: |
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* Remind yourself that unwanted memories are just that—memories, and no longer events that control you.
* Remind yourself that it’s natural to have some sort of memories of the event(s). * Talk to someone you trust. * Remember that although memories can feel overwhelming, they often lessen over time (when they don’t, it can mean that a trauma was so intense that the brain experiences typical stress reactions where you feel like you’re re-experiencing the traumatic event rather than simply remembering it. This indicates that you should seek treatment). * Engage in a pleasant, calming activity (for example, listen to soothing music). * Establish a counter-memory (something very pleasant) you can consciously call up to override the unwanted memory. * Make “to do” lists, and write down important things that you do not want to forget. * Slow yourself down, and allow extra time to focus on what you need to do. * Break large tasks down into smaller units that are more manageable. * Do not overextend yourself, and schedule only those events or tasks that are manageable for each day. * Recognize that you may be feeling depressed, since many people who feel depressed have difficulty concentrating. Discuss this symptom with a counselor or doctor. * Learn relaxation techniques (e.g., meditation, yoga, relaxation CDs, etc.) |
Action Plan on How You Think You just completed the chapter on how you think. Now, look over your work, and spend some time developing your Action Plan. List things you would like to try, then keep adding new ones and/or crossing out ones you decide aren’t right for you.
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